


No Chance

by undertheseelectricstars



Category: American Idiot - Green Day/Armstrong
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 11:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undertheseelectricstars/pseuds/undertheseelectricstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Attempts at what can never be had, the forbidden fruit, your best friend's girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Chance

She thinks the worst part is that there's no chance she can ever have him.

Days like these, she sits down and wishes that she'd never have let Will take her out roller blading that Saturday afternoon in seventh grade, that day he asked her to be his girlfriend. Maybe if she hadn't been trying so hard to be Johnny's friend, she never would have made this stupid mistake.

But she did. And she stayed with Will for all of those years, because there isn't any possible way to impress a guy after you've dumped his best friend.

She stayed with Will because of obligation and left because six months later and a few post cards talking about some hot girl with pink hair, in the city, Heather gives up on this boy that she wants to impress and this world that he creates for himself and all of the other misfits.

Not her, she could have been cool if she wanted to.

But she would rather be real. She would rather tell the truth and look someone in the eye while doing it, even if it made her a bitch.

Even if everything with Will was a lie.

She thinks she was really stupid and probably still is because if it came down to it, she might try to make amends. And she doesn't know why, but this stupid crush on this leader of misfits has plagued her since the day she met him and she might not believe in silly, girlish things like love at first sight, were it not for him.

But she does, no matter how much she chastises herself for it.

And what's the point in any of it, really?

She dated his best friend. She loved that boy profusely. She had his kid. She left him, and it doesn't matter that he cared more about pot and booze than her, it doesn't matter that he loved her as little as she loved him, it matters that she left him alone. No one's gonna care now except maybe Alysha, who has always been beautifully self-righteous. They're gonna look at her like she's trash, like she's a slut, like she can't do anything right and even the people who said they were her best friends are going to talk about her and say that she was never really one of the group anyway.

So what is the point?

It's never going to happen.

She's going to stay with Miguel, because, like the rest of her fucked up life, this is just a decision that she makes to keep herself safe from boys that are clearly too cool for her, that barely acknowledge her, that are so strong and steadfast in their beliefs that they make her want to believe in herself.

But he's never looked at her before, so he's not going to now.

She gets one title and it is: girl who left Will and her reasons don't matter.

She stands no chance at all. So she lets herself sink down next to someone who might actually be able to love her. Someone she might actually be able to pretend is him, when she closes her eyes.

He thinks the worst part is that there's no chance he can ever have her.

Days like these, he thinks that he should have just stayed home and let her and Will's relationship fall apart like he had always hoped it was doomed to. Maybe if he had, Will would have moved on and forgotten about Heather and he might actually get to hold her to him.

But he didn't. Instead, he ran straight into the arms of the first girl that he can find. She's nothing like her but he tells himself that's good. It stops him from pretending.

He stayed with her because she was strong and smart and everything he always dreamt about but never could be. Everything that Heather is. He couldn't stop thinking about her, so he wrote to Will, hoping that if he gushed about this perfect girl, she might actually seem just that.

No way, he couldn't lie to himself even if he wanted to.

But he would rather close his eyes and pretend than face reality, even if it was looking him right in the eyes, even if that made him a coward.

Even if that's exactly what Jimmy called him before he—

He thinks he really is stupid and probably still is because he catches himself looking at her, even if she is forbidden fruit. Even if she is now Will's ex and he's supposed to be telling her she's not allowed within a fifteen mile radius of the group, not because she broke Will's heart, but because she left him when he needed someone.

So he does, because that is exactly what is expected of him.

And what's the point in any of it, really?

She dated his best friend. He pined for her like a dog in heat, but she had Will's kid, and then she left him and it doesn't matter that Will was more broken up about his friend's leaving than Heather's departure. All that matters is that the Underbelly is back and catching up and they're all bound to take Will's side, except for maybe Alysha, but she's so fuckin self-righteous anyway. They're gonna hate her and he's gonna have to turn the other cheek, because it's Will and what kind of leader would chose his best friend's girl anyway?

So what is the point?

It's never going to happen.

He's gonna keep his hands in his pockets and preach when others lose faith in themselves, because that's what good leaders do and that is all he gets to be. He will never get to love this girl who is everything he wants to be but never can.

But she's never looked at him before, so she's not going to now.

He gets one title and that's it: The Jesus of Suburbia.

He stands no chance at all. So he let's himself sink into 7-Eleven and beer and couch time, hoping that he can clear his mind of her and her Rock and Roll boyfriend when he closes his eyes.


End file.
